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Q: When should you buy a bird?
A: When it’s going cheep!

Did you hear the one about the crow and the telephone pole?
He wanted to make a long distance caw.

Q: What is green and pecks on trees?
A: Woody the Wood Pickle.

Q: There was a rooster sitting on a top of a barn. If it laid an egg, which way would it roll?
A: Roosters don’t lay eggs!

Q: Why did the bird get a ticket?
A: It broke the law of gravity!

Q: What do you call a chicken in the 1960′s?
A: A funky chicken.

Q: Why do seagulls fly over the sea?
A: Because if they flew over the bay, they’d be baygulls!

Q: How do you catch a unique bird?
A: Unique up on it.

Q: How do you catch a tame bird?
A: The tame way, unique up on it!

Q: How does a bird with a broken wing manage to land safely?
A: With its sparrowchute.

Q: Why did the little bird get in trouble at school?
A: Because he was caught tweeting on a test.

Q: What do you give a sick bird?
A: Tweetment.

Q: Why does a stork stand on one leg?
A: Because it would fall over if it lifted the other one.

Q: How did the bubble gum cross the road?
A: On the bottom of the chicken’s foot!

Q: Why did the chicken cross the playground?
A: To get to the other slide!

Q: Why did the chicken cross the road, roll in mud, then cross the road again?
A: He was a dirty double crosser!

Q: Why do hummingbirds hum?
A: Because they don’t know the words.

Q: Why did the little bird get in trouble at school?
A: He got caught peeping on a test.

Q: Why did the chicken cross the clothing store?
A: To get to the other size!

Q: Why do ducks fly south?
A: Because it’s too far to walk!

Q: Why did the rooster cross the road?
A: To prove he wasn’t a chicken!


Q: What does a cat call a hummingbird?
A: Fast food.

Q: What was the farmer doing on the other side of the road?
A: He was catching all the chickens!

Q: How do chickens get strong?
A: Egg-cersize.

Q: How do crows stick together in a flock?
A: Velcrow.

Q: What did one egg say to the other egg?
A: Let’s get crackin’!

Q: What do you call a crate of ducks?
A: A box of quackers.

Q: Why didn’t the rooster cross the road?
A: Because it was chicken.

Q: What robs you while you’re in the bathtub?
A: A robber ducky.

Q: Why did Mozart sell his chickens?
A: Because they kept saying “bach bach”!

Q: How did the egg cross the road?
A: It scrambled across!

Q: What do you call a parrot that flew away?
A: A polygon

Q: What do you call a sad bird?
A: A bluebird!

Q: Why did the poultry farmer become a school teacher?
A: So he could grade his eggs.

Q: What kind of math do Snowy Owls like?
A: Owlgebra

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